The Mountain and the Tree

This happened at lunch on Thursday, with weegoddess, at the Pizza Express near King's Cross.

Perfectly acceptable food, then the time came to go; she asked one of the staff (female, early 20s) for the bill. It arrived facing me. Time came to pay, we did some of the obligatory cash-faffery, she tried to get a 20 split at the till, didn't work, eventually decided to put it on her card and take my share in cash - all perfectly normal. So weegoddess attracts the attention of the same staff member, asks if she should take her card over to the till; the staff member says, as you'd expect, "no, we have a machine, I'll get it". When she returns, the card is on top of the bill on its little saucer; she starts running it, I look away so as not to see any numbers - and then she tries to hand me the machine so I can type the numbers in.

I haven't seen anyone get it that aggressively wrong in ages; it's really annoying.

So, my GP referred me for an allergy test, to find out what it is that keeps making me sneeze and generally feel like the living dead. The reminder letter I got (I've been putting it off because they insist on my using the phone and I hate doing that) tells me I can use the "NHS Choose and Book" service online to remind me of their phone numbers. So I do that. It wants me to log in with the number and password they gave me, so I do that, and keep the phone numbers onscreen, since I need my laptop and Google Calendar with me by the phone.

And the nice guy at the end tells me that he can't make my appointment, because they have to use the same system and he can't log in while I'm logged in. Presumably it gives extra functionality to them, since all it does for me is show me this. (It gives me an option at Homerton Hospital as well, but they're unrated and the only advantage they have is a 21-day wait time.)

General Allergy (LCH) - Allergy - Barts and The London NHS Trust - RNJ

* Distance: 3 miles from postcode E11 ***
* Approximate Wait Time: 41 days
* Location: THE LONDON CHEST HOSPITAL, BONNER ROAD, LONDON, GREATER LONDON, E2 9JX
* Booking Instructions: 0800 043 0143 Mon-Thurs 0800-1800; Fri 0800-1700; Sat 0900-1200

And then he tells me that it will take 20 minutes to release the lock on the system after I'm logged out, so I'll have to call back. WTFF? Even by the normal standards of government IT systems this is fairly epic comedy fail.

If you haven't seen this appallingly racist cartoon in the Times, I recommend it for sheer did-they-actually-publish-that value.

Edit: please read the comments before leaving "helpful" corrections. If someone else has already said it, I don't need a "me too". Thank you.

I can't find an address specifically for complaints; comment@thetimes.co.uk gets autorejected. I've sent the following to online.editor@timesonline.co.uk as the apparent next most appropriate thing.

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Here's a print I did last night. I'm quite pleased with most of it, but I did make one glaring error I really shouldn't have.



[Edit: explanation here.]