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[personal profile] mirrorshard
Lobbed my way by [livejournal.com profile] endless_change. Pick a favourite poem, and post it. Apparently I'm supposed to tag five people, but, well, grab it if you feel the need. This one's by Liz Lochhead.

The Suzanne Valadon Story

I could of been a laundress,
a soft-soaped hopeless scrubber -
I could of been a waitress -
and lived to Serve Anothair?
I could of been a housemaid
And stayed upon my knees -
Instead of these
Because Moi - sans chemise -
was cer-tain to please
Until I used my noddle
I was the Bohemienne
Who is an artist’s model!

I’d be flat on my ass still
If I hadn’t seized zee pastel
I was just a girl who couldaint say Non!
Now I am the artiste, Suzanne Valadon!

Mon affaire with Renoir
Deed not go very far
And Lautrec, although nice
Seemply could not reach my heights
Edouard Manet - he canny!
(Quel type, what a creep!)
But Degas,
He drew me in ink and he etched me on zinc
Until some bloody Fauve went and painted me mauve
and Seurat stippled me pink.

Oh they did me in oils
Till I came out in boils
but when I asked them for a crayon,
Oh they turned me Van Gogh’s ear...

I’d be posing noon till ten still
If I hadn’t snatched zee pencil
I was the girl who couldaint say Non!
Now I’m an artiste, Suzanne Valadon.

Then I’d climb in zee sack
for the price of a cognac
Oh life in Bohemia
Could not ‘ave been more seamier.
But I’d have slept with them for sables -
Zee brushes not zee furs!

I was well on my way
To the Salon des Refusés
I was just a girl who couldaint say Non!
Now I’m la grande artiste,
Suzanne Valadon.

Oh, I was seeck, seeck, seeck
being scribbled, screwed or blitzed
At the Moulin de la Galette
So I told them what to do with
Zee impressionist palette
I got of the dais,
I covered my ass,
snapped his charcoal stick in two
And I drew without a fuss
said Renoir
I see you’re One of Us.
And Lautrec (I’ll always lov heem)
Said wis-out a doubt Suzanne
You can be dronk in charge of a charcoal line
As good as any man.
Degas said I was a genius
and on further inspection
Put heez monnaie where his mouth was
And bought mes pictures
To grace heez great collection.

I’d have ended in zee guttair as a clapped out lush
Eef I hadn’t seized mon courage and a number seven brush.
I was the girl who couldaint say Non!
Now I am la Grande Artiste
Suzanne Valadon
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